Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Believe =(

Woke up around 4. Called her and i dressed up just to go to the cinema to get 2 tickets for Mr and Mrs Smith. Hoping i could get the back seat. As usual. Who wanna sit at the front watching a big tv? Got my ticket as hoping the time turn faster as i can spend my time with her watching movie at 7 .. having dinner .. just both of us. Although we are just friends, it doesn't matter. As long i'm with her. Got onto my bike and i received her message asking me to check out the butterflies earrings and comment bout it. Replied her sorry cause i was away from the mall and heading to work.

Working is fun .. as usual as friends all around me. Flair a few tricks and latte art - Rosetta and love shape latte - Just my day .. Not the barista for today as i am the chef .. stucked in the kitchen with lots of food .. kinda busy and it was 11 i got a miss call from her. I called her back.

We were chatting nicely and she ask me a question bout the past which i'm ready to answer her anytime. But somehow my answer didn't really satisfy her. She doesn't believe me. She says people say the other and i say the other. Who to blame? Just me myself cause throughtout the relationship for almost 4 years .. i lie to her a lot which eventually she doesn't really trust me although i speak the truth. But after i broke up in my recent relationship, Me and her does keep contact and everything that we talked, i mentioned, i tell, i speak is everything the truth cause i realised i have to be open and honest if i wanna be with her. So i practise that all this while till today still being honest but she doesn't believe me with my answer. =( which really makes my mood down all the way until now i'm typing this blog. She's mad about everything .. she told me. I know i speak to her .. kinda harsh with my tone of voice but somehow .. i am telling the truth. =(

We hang up. It was last kitchen order. I sat and wanted to cry but i couldn't. Too much friends around. Stood up and started to do the washing. Everyone came into the kitchen and wanted to help but i told them i wanna clean the kitchen all by myself. So they just let me. They know i wanna be alone. They know i'm sad with my expression of my face. They seems to know i think =( They finish the floor quite early and i was still doing the washing. Slowly cleaning up and in the end i managed to finish. They ask me for supper but i rejected. Just wanna come back home to talk to a friend which is My Blog.

* Hoping tomorrow's movie still works as i really wanna works things out with ya. Really hope 1 day .. u will understand me as i am now who opens my heart when i talk. Not the old kevin that keeps everything inside .. who hides stuff from ya .. who lie to ya. I am not blaming you for not trusting me cause this is what i get after lying and hiding stuff from you all these years. I will only blame myself if there's anything that you're mad about. It's all ME ME ME ! =~( I'm sorry. Really hope that we can patch back and forget everything from the past and start a new life with the new Me and the new You. I seriously miss you so much and love you. I don't know how much but i know that it cannot be measured. Good night sweet dreams .. Love you Muacks 5070 =(